111.jpg

JOKES

Home
VARTANIK JOKES
JOKES
BLONDE JOKES
Pictures
Yo Mama Jokes
FUNNY LINKS

qq.gif

  JOKES

 A GUY WALKS INTO A BAR AND ASKES THE BARETENDER FOR 10 SHOTS OF TEQUILLA THE BARTENDER ASKED THE MAN WHATS WRONG THE GUYS SAYZ I JUST FOUND OUT MY YOUNG SON IS GAY THE BARETENDER SAYZ IM SORRY. NEXT DAY THE GUY COMES BACK AND TELLS THE BARTENDER 20 SHOTS OF TEQUILLA THE BARTENDER SAYZ WHATS WRONG NOW THE GUY SAYZ MY OLDER SON IS GAY NOW AND SHE SAYZ IM SORRY AGAIN .
THE GUY RETURNED NEXT DAYZ AND SAYZ 30 TEQUILLAS AND THE BARTENDER YELLS AND SAYZ DAMMM DONT ANYBODY IN UR FAMILY GET SOME PUS** THEY GUY REPLIES YAA MY WIFE ......
 
 
 
 
Yerevantsin mi hat FORD FOCUS a tanum abaran asum a mi hat abarantsu ba ape es afton fokus a karum ani, esi asum a de mi hat ara tenam, es yereventsin asum a es hsenki mejov karum a antsni bayts pti ashkerat pakes, esi ashkera pakum a txen afton shenki koxkov kshum a en myus komn a kangnatsnum asum a hima batsi de, vopshem esi afton arnum tanum a abaran mi 10 hogov ltsvum en aftoi mej u es abarantsin asum a hima lrivat ashkerat pakek FOKUS em anum, esi 100i tak gnum a hagnum a patin afton jardum en mekel es abarantsin asum a ARA ET VOR MI APUSHA ASHKERA CHER PAKEL?
 
 
 
 
 
 mi hat muk andzrevi takov vazelov etuma tun chanpin mi hat apahovicha gtnum qashuma glxin etuma tun mtnuma tun here talis spanuma es mknikin.. txen asuma inchem arel ai pa here asuma b....txa tune haci pox cheka qez taza kurka es arel loool
 
 
 
 
 
 A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink, the bartender tells him that before he can serve anything, the guy needs to name his privet part,being a little surprised, but eager for a drink,he desides to name it "secret"(like the deodorant),when the bartender asks him why would he name it "secret" the guy answers, because it's strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
 
 
 
 
 
 mi hat hayastansi amerikaya galis poxosov etuma es martnel angleren che imanum mihat hooker asuma wat is your name es marnel et mi bane gidi asuma misak et hokernel asuma no me sak you fu--ck.
 
 
 
 
 
 THERE WAS A VIRGIN THAT WAS GOIN OUT ON A DATE FOR THE FIRST TIME AND SHE TOLD HER GRANDMA ABOUT IT . HER GRANDMA SAYZ OK LISTEN CHILD, HES GOIN TOO KISS YOU YOU ARE GOING TO LIKE IT BUT DONT LET HIM DO IT . HES IS GOIN TOO TRY 2 FEEL UR BREASTS YOU ARE GOING TO LIKE IT BUT DONT LET HIM DO IT . HE IS GOING 2 PUT HIS HANDS BETWEEN UR LEGS UR GONNA LIKE IT BUT DONT LET HIM DO IT . BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY HE IS GONNA TRY 2 GET ON TOP OF U ANDD HAVE IT HES WAY , YOU ARE GOIN 2 LIKE IT BUT DONT LET HIM DO THAT IT WILL DISGRACE YOUR FAMILY.
NEXT DAY THE GRANDDAUGHTERS COMES BACK AND TELLS HER GRANDMOTHER , I DIDNT LET HIM DISGRACE THE FAMILY WHEN HE TRIED , I TURNED HIM OVER GOT OFF OF HIM AND DISGRACED HIM FAMILY

A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porno film and it was due out in a month.
A month later, the musician went to a porno theatre to see it. With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row, next to a couple whom also seemed to be in disguise.
The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, featuring group sex, S/M and even a dog.
After a while, the embarrassed pianist turned to the couple and said, "I'm only here to listen to the music."
"Yeah?" replied the man. "We're only here to see our dog."

 

 

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."

 

 

 

A young couple on the brink of divorce visits a marriage counselor. The counselor asks the wife what is the problem.
She responds " My husband suffers from premature ejaculation."
The counselor turns to her husband and inquires "Is that true?"
The husband replies "Well not exactly, it's her that suffers not me."

 

 

Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price, but it's missing a seal, so whenever it rains he has to smear vaseline over the spot where the seal should be.
Anyway, his girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her parents. He drives his new bike to her house, where she is outside waiting for him.
"No matter what happens at dinner tonight, don't say a word." She tells him, "Our family had a fight a while ago about doing dishes. We haven't done any since, but the first person to speak at dinner has to do them."
Steve sits down for dinner and it is just how she described it. Dishes are piled up to the ceiling in the kitchen, and nobody is saying a word. So Steve decides to have a little fun. He grabs his girlfriend, throws her on the table and has sex with her in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word. A few minutes later he grabs her mom, throws her on the table and does a repeat performance. Now his girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, and her mother is a little happier.
But still there is complete silence at the table. All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Steve remembers his motorcycle. He jumps up and grabs his jar of vaseline.
Upon witnessing this, his girlfriend's father backs away from the table and screams, "OKAY, ENOUGH ALREADY, I'LL DO THE FUCKING DISHES"

 

 

A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, "Wife, we're going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog."
The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!"
"Look! We're going fishing and that's final."
"Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't want to go!"
"Right I'll give you three choices... 1 You come fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BLOW JOB.... 3 or you take it up the ass!"
The wife grimaces again, "But I don't want to do any of those things!"
"Wife I've given you three options.. You'll HAVE to do one of them! I'm going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind!"
The wife sits and thinks about it.
Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, "Well! What have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or ass?"
The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, "O.K. I'll give you a blow job!"
"Great!" He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees doing the business. Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, "Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting... It tastes all shitty!"
"Yes!" says her husband "The dog didn't want to go fishing either."

WWW.HY3CRIMINAL818.TK