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VARTANIK JOKES

Math Class


Vartanik returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father. "The teacher asked `How much is 2x3` I said "6" replies Vartanik. "But that`s right!" "Yeah, but then she asked me `How much is 3x2?`" "What`s the fucking difference?" asks the father. "That`s what I said!"
 
 
 
 
 
My Son


Vartanik and his three friends are telling stories in a bar. Vartanik leaves for a bathroom break. Three guys are left. The first guy says, "I was worried that my son was gonna be a loser because he started out washing cars for a local dealership. Turns out that he got a break, they made him a salesman, and he sold so many cars that he bought the dealership. In fact, he`s so successful that he just gave his best friend a new Mercedes for his birthday." The second guy says, "I was worried about my son too because he started out raking leaves for a Realtor. Turns out he got a break, they made him a commissioned salesman, and he eventually bought the real estate firm. In fact, he`s so successful that he just gave his best friend a new house for his birthday." The third guy says, "Yeah, I hear you. My son started out sweeping floors in a brokerage firm. In fact, he`s so rich that he just gave his best friend a million in stock for his birthday." Vartanik comes back from the can. The first 3 explain that they are telling stories about their kids, so he says, "Well, I`m embarrassed to admit that my son is a MAJOR disappointment. He started out as a hairdresser and is STILL a hairdresser after 15 years. In fact, I just found out that he`s gay and has SEVERAL boyfriends. But, I try to look at the bright side his boyfriends just bought him a new Mercedes, a new house, and a million in stock for his birthday."
 
 
 
 
 
Heaven


In class the teacher asks the students which part of your body goes to heaven first? some students say the heart because Jesus is in our heart. some say the mind because you pray. vartanik raises his hand and says our legs! the teacher is very surprised so she asks vartanik why do u think its the legs? and vartanik says because last night I saw my mom her legs spread out and raised in the air she was screaming "ohh god I’m coming"
 
 
 
 
 
Freezer


One day Vartanik dies and goes to heaven. He meets a guy up their named Gurgen. One day Gurgen says: "Vartanik , how did you die?" Vartanik says: "I froze to death . What about you ?" Gurgen says : " I thought my wife was cheating on me so i searched the whole house to find a guy . When i didn`t find the guy , i had a heart attack and died ." Vartanik says: " You stupid moron , if u checked the freezer , we both would have been alive now."
 
 
Smart Vartanik
 
 
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"? She calls on little Vartanik. He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gun shot." The teacher replies "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking." Then little Vartanik says "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied "Well, I suppose the one that`s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." To which Little Vartanik replied, "The correct answer is `the one with the wedding ring on,` but I like your thinking."
 
 
 
 
My Son


Vartanik and his three friends are telling stories in a bar. Vartanik leaves for a bathroom break. Three guys are left. The first guy says, "I was worried that my son was gonna be a loser because he started out washing cars for a local dealership. Turns out that he got a break, they made him a salesman, and he sold so many cars that he bought the dealership. In fact, he`s so successful that he just gave his best friend a new Mercedes for his birthday." The second guy says, "I was worried about my son too because he started out raking leaves for a Realtor. Turns out he got a break, they made him a commissioned salesman, and he eventually bought the real estate firm. In fact, he`s so successful that he just gave his best friend a new house for his birthday." The third guy says, "Yeah, I hear you. My son started out sweeping floors in a brokerage firm. In fact, he`s so rich that he just gave his best friend a million in stock for his birthday." Vartanik comes back from the can. The first 3 explain that they are telling stories about their kids, so he says, "Well, I`m embarrassed to admit that my son is a MAJOR disappointment. He started out as a hairdresser and is STILL a hairdresser after 15 years. In fact, I just found out that he`s gay and has SEVERAL boyfriends. But, I try to look at the bright side his boyfriends just bought him a new Mercedes, a new house, and a million in stock for his birthday."

 

 

 

Split Legs

one day vartanik was taking a bath with his grandma when he decided to ask why she had a split between her legs. thinking that vartanik was too young to know what that was, she proceeded to tell him that one day when grandpa was chopping wood, the end of the ax flew and hit her there. vartanik replied "DUP DUZ BOO*****IT zargav?"

 

 

 

 


 


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